Kingdom Marriage with The Boyds

From long-distance love to covenant marriage, Brandon and Amber Boyd share how they kept Christ at the center of their relationship and the intentional steps they took to prepare for marriage. Now expecting their first child, they open up about navigating new seasons with faith and purpose while offering encouragement to couples pursuing Godly relationships.

**NOTE - As of the release of this episode, Baby Boyd has made his way into this world! 

Chapters

• 1:04 Guest Introductions
• 7:17 The Foundation of a Godly Relationship
• 15:08 The Season of Singleness
• 27:19 Dating with Purpose & Marriage
• 42:17 Quick DIGs – Hot Topics in Christian Culture
• 50:13 what’s one piece of encouragement you’d give to couples trying to honor God in their relationships?
• 54:04 Stay Connected

Transcript

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Welcome back to another episode of Dig Deep, Conversations with Christian Leaders. I'm your host, Dr. Jury A.C. Aljo, and today we are talking about godly relationships. It's how to build them, how to sustain them, and how to honor God through them. Joining me for this episode are Brandon and Amber Boyd, a newly married couple who went from long-distance love to marriage and are now expecting their little baby boy. I'm so excited to have the boys on here. Welcome to the show, Brandon and Amber. Say hi. Hi, I'm back. Hi, everybody. So, so, so glad to have y'all on here. Can you all please just tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, and what is that one thing that really just did it for you when you saw each other. Like, oh yeah, this, this is the one that I'm going to be with. So, I am Brandon. I am a, I am a second, I am a second, the second child out of four children. My parents are married, or past a miren and first lady Beverly Boyd of Lighthouse Fellowship Church. I am married to the lovely Amber, Kay Boyd, and we are going on almost a year of marriage and coming this coming up April 13th. I am a minister at my church. I am proud to just, you know, be working for the Lord and just working in my marriage, trying to build a family all of the, all of the above, all of the above. And so, what I do for work, I do drafting and I'll let my wife speak in and give what she does. Hi, everybody. And I'm Amber Boyd. Of course, the wife of Brandon just recently moved here to Georgia from Cincinnati, Ohio. I have been here for 10 months as we have been married for 10 months as serious that we're expecting our first child, which is a baby boy, which is exciting. As far as what I do, I am now in education. I work as a technical operations manager at a university here in Marietta, Georgia. So that's been new. I've been in hospitality management for years. I recently transitioned over to education, which is more, more in my lane and definitely more rewarding in this season as well. I know that you asked a special question of what did it for us when we first saw one another there. So, so I'll take over from here. But when I first saw me ever met in Cincinnati and we met through a mutual friend, Denzel Tubbs, who was our brother in Cincinnati, it was actually his wedding weekend. And Denzel was hoping to get the hotel arrangements together for me and my brother as we were preparing to be there for his wedding. Little did I know Amber was very vital in the fact that she was the one putting all the hotel accommodations together. I never did see Amber when we checked in, when we first got into town, but when we got into town, Denzel and I sat down for a moment and he showed me who Amber was. Oh, she's medium. And when I first seen Amber, I was blown away, Julia. I was, I was blown away. I saw, I saw the phone and I said, Denzel, who is that? And so I mean, fast forward to his wedding day and I see Amber in person for the first time. And when I saw her, I literally, I was like, okay, everything within me was telling me, this is your wife. In my jewelry, I didn't have no, nothing about, I didn't know anything of Amber, I didn't know where she came from, who she was all in detail. I just knew that I just knew that she was going to be my wife. When I saw her, it was just, appearance caught my eye first. And after that, yeah, it was just, we just connected in a way that was, I feel like God ordained. I love it. Amber, what about for you, like when you first saw Brandon, our first met him or introduced him, like, what was it for you? That was just like, yeah, this, this is the one I want to be with. So for me, I mean, he pretty much told like the story kind of wrapped up in one, we met at a wedding. Brandon came up to me. He didn't tell you how he came up to me. He approached me and said, you know, he introduced himself in about five minutes later, he told me, you know, I think picture my wife. He told you the first, oh, he told me the first day, he played no time, he wasted no time. So we'll get into that. But what really kind of solidified it for me, like, okay, this is the one is when we actually got to have a conversation. We met at that wedding, but we ended up having longer conversation at the reception. And then based on our conversation, it was very intentional. And that is something that I have always desired just intentionality. So just seeing how he approached me, how he pursued me, that was, that was it for me. That was it for me. It's the intention for me, like playing no games, put everything out there on the table. That's, I mean, that's real brave, because, you know, sometimes, you know, I think sometimes like guys might just be like, you know, you're supposed to, you're going to be my wife. And they're not serious. And you know, I mean, like, I don't know if I would have been, I probably would have laughed and just been like, okay, guy. I'm not aware, you know, I, to this day, I still get people who look at me, like, I'm crazy for digital on the first day. But I don't regret it, though, because I wanted Amber to know how intentional and how serious I was. I wanted her to know that I'm not like any other guy that you had in your past. I am, I'm, I'm serious about you. And I know what I feel in my, in my spirit about what God is telling me about. So, yeah, I came out with the question, I came out the gate with those questions. How do you feel about me? How do you feel about ministry? How do you feel about family? How do you feel about moving out of state? All of these, all of those questions are on the first day. So I love, listen, I'm here for it. Clearly, it works out in your favor. So no, I absolutely love that. And I think one of the more challenging things I would think is just the fact that you all were long distance. How did the two of you navigate that and keep Christ at the center? Yes, you want me to start or you want to go? You could start. Okay. So navigating long distance. I think what was very vital for us is we established a plan. So being that we were long distance, we pretty much established like a travel plan. Like so from the beginning, we decided that we were going to travel to see one another like every so often every few weeks. And then what the first time would be him. And then it would be me. So we would go back and forth. So that gave us something to look forward to. You know, of course talking on the phone that was every day texting was every day we face time pretty much every chance that we got. So communication was key. And we established consistent conversation, consistent intentional conversation as well. So that kind of helped us along with the long distance, just establishing that plan, that travel plan, and then keeping conversation at the forefront as well. So yeah, that was like our establishment as far as long distance. But as far as keeping Christ at the center, what was really vital was including him in every single step that looks like committing to prayer conversation before any major decisions or moves. And we did like one of the big things that we did to keep him at the center is consecration and fasting. So that looks like for some times, if we would go on like three day fast, I think you would step that early on, right? We definitely did three day fast. And also we kept the prayer like at a lot, a lot of our. Throughout our dating process for sure. So I did can't interject really quick. Like did you all did you all pray together or separately or both both. So every morning and every morning, we were all as we were on our way to work. We would have our morning prayer. God, every morning, just to make sure like we included him in our steps of dating and starting our day with him. Right. So that was huge for us, including him in that part of our day, because you know, once you get the day started, you're like, ongoing. So before all of that, we started with him so that he was already at the forefront of our day and we went from there. So that was really big for us. And so what would you say? I said, just keeping them in in prayer and, you know, constantly reading and banking consecration. For those times that we did go on consecration, that was very vital for us. Very. What did, you know, explain to those who might not know like consecration, like what, what did that look like for you all? And how did you in those moments just encourage one another, you know, and things are becoming maybe becoming challenging or like unclear. Just explaining what is consecration? What does that look like for you all? And how did you encourage one another? So consecration for us was a period of a period of not talking to each other, because as, as two people coming together, we know what the goal is, we know we're working our way towards marriage. So this is not necessarily dating anymore. This is more so courting. As we're in that process, we, our consecration looked like there was no talking between us, because we wanted to get instruction from God on how to move forward with this. And if we did talk, it was like, I think we did like three texts per day, maybe one in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening. Just to check in and see how is your consecration going? What do you feel like the Lord is saying? But it wasn't, it wasn't, you know, when you're in a relationship and it's exciting you, you're talking all day, we wasn't doing that. We were, we were spending time in prayer and just spending time in our word trying to hear from God to receive what it is that he would have for us as we move forward. Right, right. I love that because I think of, you know, I think of how challenging that must be, because again, you're long distance. So it's not like, okay, we're not talking throughout the week, but, you know, I know I'm going to see them at church on Sunday or, you know, I can just drive an hour or whatever and go see them. So for those of you that are long time listeners or even first time listeners, I'm also in a long distance relationship and it can be challenging. So Amber, I love that you said consistent and intentional conversations and it sounds like you all had intentional conversations from the beginning where there was no guessing about what are we doing? What are we like that type of thing? Right, absolutely, absolutely. How would you, and I know that we may have touched on this just a little bit, but how did you all maintain emotional and spiritual intimacy despite the distance, which I think we've already kind of touched on that a little bit. I don't know if you wanted to add anything as far as the emotional intimacy. Yeah, absolutely. So for me, of course, I've already established being intentional about communication because distance can, it can put a strain on your relationship because, you know, you're not seeing them all the time. You don't really have that, you know, face to face. A lot of relationships do have so of course that intentional conversation, but for me, I think that being intentional, you know, we went from those like surface level conversations to deeper conversations. And one thing about me and I'm pretty sure a lot of women's safety is very, it's huge for me. It's everything for me. So those conversations resulted in me feeling safe with this person, you know, that ultimately created the closeness between us is it kind of drew me into him like, okay, I'm safe here. You know, I can talk to him about this. I can talk to him about the silly things, the, you know, just regular conversation day to day life. And then I can also get deep and kind of explore, you know, these topics with him as well that created safety for me. So that, I would say that that definitely brought us in and helped us maintain emotional intimacy. Right. Yes. And I think, you know, sometimes I find, sometimes I talk to my fiance and I'll forget that like I'm talking to him. I'll be like, girl, did it. And I'll wait, just get right. Right. Because I feel safe. I love it. It's like he said, you know, I've, I've made it a point to express my appreciation for him making me feel safe. Enough to share when, you know, maybe I didn't like something that he said or did because I did not grow up. Where you could always sort of share that. And so it was really important for me to show him appreciation. Like, you know, I really appreciate you making me feel safe in this moment to just be able to say like, hey, I don't really like what just happened or whatever and we kind of talk through it. Right. And I can piggyback off of that as well. I think like in the past, it was kind of like hard for me to find safety in another person because, you know, even if you were able to share certain topics. So if you were, if you were able to discuss certain things with people and like if I was able to do that in the past, it didn't seem to kind of land there. It always, it seemed to like come back and bite me or, you know, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Oh, that was tough for me. So knowing that I could just completely be free here and be safe here and know that I was okay. You know, it was okay to land. That was huge for me. So, right. We had to help me to continue to open up zone. Yes. I didn't have that in the past, but, you know, growing that with him also brought us a lot of closeness. So when you think about like not having that in the past and thinking about like past relationships for both of you, you know, before you all got married, you have gone through the season of singleness. What advice would you give to those who are currently in that season, who desire a godly relationship and or a godly marriage? Absolutely. I would say for those that desire a godly marriage to constantly put yourself in a place to where you're lending your life to God. Because God is ultimately the one you want to be in connection with to reveal to you who it is that you're supposed to be with. And I feel that people that are in their single life should be totally lost in their walk with Christ to to definitely be sure. Because if you're not in a place with Christ, then you can be you can think you know what you want or feel like you know what's right for you. But if you if you're in that place with Christ, then he's going to lead you and guide you to be in the in the right relationship and that matters. Absolutely. That definitely matters. So I say, what would you say, babe? What would you say? So you talk about the desire and I think it's something that's something to speak to because the desire for a godly relationship, it's a good desire to have. And I think sometimes you know, we don't I wouldn't say we, but sometimes people are made to feel as if you know, it's like a bad desire or you know, they shouldn't kind of you know. It's almost as if you know, if they have that desire, if they broadcast the desire, they're almost made to fill us into like a desperation or whatever the case may be. And I'll say for me, I have always had the desire for marriage. I've always known that I wanted to be a wife and I've always thought that I would be a wife. But also in knowing that I didn't idolize it. I think before meeting Brandon, you kind of spoke to like singleness prior to meeting him. And I'll just tell my journey and hopefully someone can relate to it. So prior to meeting Brandon, I was like in a season of where I just was it was like a long season of just kind of I was done with the dating. I was kind of over it. So I came to a place where it was just it was pretty much me and God. And I know that's kind of what branding was speaking to. But it's just so funny looking back on it now. I was in such a season of where it was literally me and God to where everything else was blurred out. Like a lot of my days just was spent just diving in my word and prayer and just inconsistent communication with him. And while that might look like you know, or should be like your day to day light, it was so different in that season. So it wasn't as it was just a season of where it just felt like nothing else like nothing else was the focus. And so by the time Brandon came to me, it was almost like I was startled like I had to look up like always it's really happening because I was so lost in the season that I was already in. So I will say anyone desiring a godly relationship just take that time literally go to God. Kind of like what Brandon was saying is be so lost in him to where you know when that person comes is almost as like your start. Because it's like oh wait, it's finally happened rather than focusing on that because in that season. I'll say that you know God, he stripped me of so much she added so much to where you know when he came not only was my desire here, but I was ready for it. And I'll say yes, go ahead Brandon. I was going to say I was sitting here thinking as my wife was talking what I was doing in that season. And I made myself accountable to my leaders, but not only not only that I was preparing so where I was wanting to go in in my future as far as being married. I was preparing and I felt like that was that's wise if I could speak to the men who are listening on this podcast. So for what I did, I started like preparing as far as like getting the storage unit to put furniture in there because I don't want to. I started I started to gather my finances together. I started to gather what I wanted to do as far as looking at apartments and homes and stuff like that. I feel like if you're going, if you want to go someplace, you need to have a plan set a plan in motion. So I would say for if you're desiring a God of relationship, you have to have a plan for sure. Yeah, definitely. And you know, I echo that as well prior to me meeting Marlon or I would say prior to us starting to date because I met Marlon back in 2015 originally. And yes, I think prior to us starting to date, I had gone through from 2015 to when did me start dating 2021. Over that time, I had gone through the I'm over this. I'm not dating. I don't want to be married. I don't think God wants me to be married, you know, very. I think I went from being very bitter about it to then being content in my singleness. And focusing so much on my relationship with God that I was like, you know, God, I'm open to whatever it is that you have for me. If it's marriage rate, if it's not, that's also fine. And so like you said, Amber, all of a sudden it was like, wait a second. Where did you come from? Like what was happening? What's going on? Right. You know, Brandon, to your point in all of that, I didn't know that I was being prepared. Right? Like I'm working on different things, working on my own self, my, you know, something I have to work on. Not realizing, you know, I have my own apartment for the first time. So learning how to be a homemaker and, you know, to do different things that I would love to do and want to do as a wife. Not realizing that this is God preparing me for that. So when I'm think about, you know, this people that desire to be in a relationship, I heard Amber, you say that you didn't idolize wanting to be married. And I think sometimes women and even men can idolize being in a relationship or being married so much so that women will pursue men. And, you know, I wanted to get you all thoughts and opinions on this. I guess it's, I wouldn't call it a phenomenon, but I think it's more of a trend that we're seeing where it's the women that are pursuing the men. It's the women that are, you know, I'm going to ask him out and, you know, I'm going to ask him to marry me and then really taking on the role of the man when it comes to pursuing relationships. And so I just wanted to get you all thoughts and opinions on some of these newer trends that were we're seeing right now. Well, I would say Brandon feels very strongly about this. So I'm going to allow you to tackle this. I definitely believe that it is the man's job to pursue. I think that I think that if a woman starts off trying to pursue, then she will always be chasing. And I think that you don't want to start off that way. I think that it is the man's job to pursue you so that, you know, it's done the right way. It's done, it's done the right way. For sure. And let's take it to the Bible. And the Bible says he who finds so. Absolutely, absolutely. So I just, I think that there is nothing wrong with, you know, seeing a male that you admire that you're interested in and putting yourself in a place to be pursued in a position to be pursued. But as far as like actively going after the male, I feel pretty strongly about that as well. I believe that the male should wholeheartedly pursue. And I don't believe that that is the woman's job at all. But I do believe that you could put yourself in a position to be pursued. Absolutely. And that there is nothing wrong with that. Absolutely. Right. You know, I had shared earlier that I definitely have my eye on Marlon. Yeah. And, you know, wanted to make sure that he knew that was available. If he was on this call, he would tell y'all that I didn't have enough pictures of myself on Instagram or whatever. That's my brother. What he won't tell y'all is that is that he followed me on Instagram and sent me a friend request on Facebook. So I knew he was looking. Right. And but I agree with you, though, I think, you know, as much as as attractive as I found him to be. And I definitely went to God and prayer about it. Like, you know, God, like, look, this is slow. You know, this little kitty, like what we know what's going on. But not being so not idolizing wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to be married so much so that I then get out of order in the way. That God has ordered relationships to be. Right. And so for me, it was just, let me just wait and be patient. And, you know, if this is what God has for me, then I won't have to pursue anything. Right. Right. You know, so it worked out. Because look at you now, Jerry. I mean, you know, okay. But, you know, I think if you're looking to have a God be relationship, right? Then I think, no, women are not to pursue men. And so I, my heart kind of grieves a little bit when I see women asking men to marry them. If, if you're not living by, according to the Bible, if you don't believe in the Bible, then that's a whole different conversation that we could have. If you are living, according to the word of God and you believe the word of God and that everything that is in the Bible is true, and that you should live according to that word, then you should be in agreement with the woman does not pursue the man. So, Christian ladies, let's, let's help our other Christian sisters out. Let's tell them just hold on to hold out. And, and don't go, don't go. Don't go pursue them in. Let's not. Let the bad pursue you, sir. Absolutely. Get the add up. I think you really have to be so confident in God's plan for you that you don't, you know, you don't feel the need to, you know, no matter where he takes you. He's, he's got to discover, you know, he's, he's going to take care of the water. So be so confident in that that you don't feel the need to pursue anything that, you know, is not God ordained or that guy doesn't, you know, that guy doesn't have for you. And I'm glad that you said that because I think, you know, I like to tell people that I am type A personality. I like being in control of things. That's yet working on me, y'all. Thank you for your prayers. Okay. Thank you. But, you know, I think in if anyone is like me, you're just like, okay, well, but if I do this, then, you know, then he'll notice me and he'll see me. And he'll see me and, but, and let's like, no, like just relax, just wait. Right. Like I said, Marlon and I first met in 2015. And I found him to be attractive then, but I was not check up for him. I, again, was very much working and in management, that sort of thing. And if I had done something to like mess that up, who knows how this would have ended. So I, I'm just, I'm glad that you said that, Amber, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Absolutely. Absolutely. So let's jump from singleness to marriage, right? So y'all have been married for almost a year now. Plus, you have gone from long distance to now, y'all are living with each other. Yeah. Listen, I'm going to write all the notes on this segment or this question here. Please tell me, y'all, what was the biggest adjustment for both of you, like, after marriage? So I was saying, honestly, Julia, we're still adjusting. And I think that that's what it should be when you, when you first get married because, you know, it, I've, I've had this conversation with Amber several times. When two people get married, they are learning how to be for each other. So I have to learn how to be the husband, not just a husband, let me specify that, not just a husband. I have to learn how to be the husband for Amber, and then Amber has to learn how to be the wife for me. So I think our adjustment looks like, you know, just learning what Amber likes, learning, learn, she learning what I like, learning what makes her mad, learning, she learning what makes me happy. You know, things like that, we, we take time to really try to figure out what works best for our marriage. We have, you know, I have my parents who are, who have been married for like 35 years. And then of course, Amber has had her mom, who's been married. But we've, we're trying to establish our own, you know, trying to see if that works for us. You know, like there's things that my parents could give to me, but there's, and there's things that Amber's parents may give to us. But, you know, we, we try to establish what works for us. Right. Right. I mean, you can step in here. Well, I'll say for me, because you, you know, you specify from long distance to now being married. So I think the thing with Brandon and I for sure is that like long distance, it was so like giddy and exciting. So, you know, we look forward to those phone calls. We looked forward to laughing about our day at the end of the day, you know, sharing every detail. I think the conversations were more like, just get around just like the flirtiness, the funness. So, you know, you know, you're collecting data, you're getting to know the person. So it's, it's fun. And marriage is still fun. So I don't want to give that, you know, narrative either marriage is fun. But then we have to also look at like when you're married, you're with this person every day now. Every day. You know, yeah. I don't think that, I mean, we didn't, you know, have really big disagreements during dating or anything like that. The only thing I will say is planning a wedding is stress. Oh, yeah. Okay. So you get it. And I know y'all are in that phase now. Cool. So, you know, we had disagreements and things that we didn't really disagree on when we were dating. Of course, different, you know, people with different perspectives and opinions. But, you know, getting married to him is like, okay, now I get to see him in a whole different light. So, yeah, I get to see how he is. Like how his attitude kind of changes more so like face to face when he's upset or when he needs a long time, you know. We had never, we've never lived with the opposite sex before, you know. Right. She had her sister and her mom and then I had my brothers. And so it was different with the opposite sex. And that's perfect to also kind of kind of point out as well because branding is one of four boys. You know, I'm more brother. I'm one of two sisters. Yeah. You know, he is certain things that, you know, when I would do certain things, he'd be like, oh wait, you know, I don't know how to handle this. And, you know, the handle was like, okay, are you really this dramatic? I'm like, no, I'm just a woman. Like, you know, so it's also adjusting to that. So, you know, we like getting to experience him on a different level. That was quite adjustment and it's still an adjustment. But I think right now, you know, we're to a place where we all, like we've already established, like, you know what? This is marriage, you know, we're getting to get in this light, but it's not, it's not a bad thing. You know, like when you are, I think, for example, I think our biggest adjustment and we first got married. What was like a big thing before getting married? Like we, we spent one birthday together. That came in for your 30th birthday. So, he got experience, you know, my birthday, I take holidays very seriously. Yes. Birthday, everything included all in the day. Yes. So, you know, he got to see you on my birthday and just see how like serious I take it. He knew that I took it serious, but you know, just kind of like experiencing me on a different level and all the things that I said through long distance, kind of seeing them play out in action and kind of, you know, we got to handle that. So, yeah. Yeah. I, you know, it's, it is, it's so interesting that the two of you, your siblings, that you brought up your siblings where that, I mean, I have one brother. So, I'm one of four on the eldest one of four. We have three girls and one boy. And so, you know, if my mom and dad in the house, I kind of have a general idea of, you know, living with guys and whatever. But I can only imagine like, if that's not been your experience, then like all the sudden, you know, just stuff that guys do sometimes, or you just like, why? Like, why, why? Or opposite, right, Brandon? Like, not to, you know, poo poo on you, but like same thing. Like opposite way, like, okay, girls, like, what? Why? I grew up, I grew up in a house where it's just, where it's just guys. Yeah. Yeah. So, I can totally see that as being kind of an adjustment. How do you all handle disagreements? Like, you know, and it doesn't even have to be like an argument or anything like that. But like, y'all are having a disagreement. Like, what is your, what is your process through it? Like, how do you, how do you navigate that? Yeah. Well, honestly, I feel like we're still learning how to navigate our disagreements. We, because you know, this is, this is new for both of us. We're just now coming into a year of marriage. I think that one thing that we both are learning is that we have to take, take some time to let the situation just calm, let it just break. And then come back together at a place to where we can resolve when it is, when it is, when we both feel like it's the right time. What would you say that? So, I would say, when he says we're still learning, I think that when we first got married, I'm saying first that maybe like it's been so long. But in the first few months, you know, we kind of noticed that how we were handling them, how we were handling them, sorry, wasn't really working for us. So, now we have to rebuild. Yes. So, for example, let's say we're having a disagreement. Brandon is the type of person he wants to come to a resolve right away. And I understand that. But for me, for me, for example, sometimes I just need a moment, you know, I need a process because I know that in the heat of the moment, anything that can, anything can be said and you can't take it back. Right, right. And knowing me specifically, knowing, you know, the things that I can say in the heat of the moment, I tried to shy away from that. But let me just have a moment, just, you know, just calm down a little bit. So, in the effort of trying to come to a resolve right away, I think that that would kind of like, it would create a bigger issue, because I'm consistently saying, no, no, not right now. He didn't really understand that because, you know, all he was wanting to do was come to a resolve. Right, right. I just wasn't there yet. Right, right, right. It just created a bigger issue that didn't need to happen. So, what it looks like, right, what it looks like now is we're just like, relearning how to come, you know, together and come together. So, for example, if we're having like a disagreement, for example, he'll say, he'll ask me, you know, are you ready to talk now? Do you need an hour? Do you need a moment? And that looks like me not being petty or stepper. And it has a real answer. Right. And that works, you know, majority of the time, you know, our disagreements haven't really been anything to elaborate other than, you know, us just adjusting. For sure. So, I think that was working for us now. Of course, that, you know, it does like, I mean, we are still learning, but I think right now that's what's working for us. Yeah, it's definitely a process to sum it all up. I think tone matters, delivery, delivery matters, and timing matters. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. So you say tone, delivery, and timing. Because you know, just being honest, sometimes we don't have the best deliveries. Or sometimes we're like, as Amber just said, sometimes our tone can be the wrong tone. You know, all of that stuff matters, this vital. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's true for any relationship. You know, certainly, it's something, and I think it's something that you continue to learn right as you as individuals grow. And also as you all grow as a couple. Because I am, I am very similar, Amber, I need a second to process. Like, I am my father's daughter. And I will go toe to toe. If you get me there, it takes me a minute to get there. But like, once I'm there, like, we're here now. So, you know, so, and I don't, I don't want to do that to someone that's my husband. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't want anyone, I wouldn't allow anyone else to speak to my husband that way. So I don't want to do that. I'm in vice versa. Whereas Marlin is here. And this is, and this is just our family dynamics as well. I found that that's something to deal to do with, you know, how you handle conflict, how you handle disagreements. In his family, they are very much, we're going to talk about it right now. That's how I'm going to say how I feel. And that's going to be that versus my family. We sweet things under the rug and we just kind of move on. And so I appreciate you all's, you know, you all sharing that because it isn't adjustment where you have to learn. Okay, here's their frame of reference. Here's how they've grown up seeing, you know, disagreements handled. Here's how I've grown up seeing disagreements handled. Now what is going to work for us? And I feel like that's the biggest thing that I'm hearing about. You know, adjustments, you know, adjusting to marriage is getting the wisdom from everyone. But then also figuring out what is going to work for you all and for your marriage. Right. Right. That is key. Absolutely. So as you, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I guess that we're learning that, but that's key. Yes, no. And it's, you know, I think it's an ever, ever learning thing. I think you become better at it over time. And that's an ending relationship, I think as well. So, you know, I'm excited for y'all. And what is to come, you know, we have baby boy on the way. Very soon. Very soon. And now that you all are expecting your first child. How are you preparing spiritually and emotionally for this new season? Yes. Well, I will speak to the emotional part. So I know that you probably are, it's been said a lot. Like, you know, when you are expecting your child sometimes or majority of the time, that motherly instinct, it kind of just like kicks in. And it's so funny how that happens. So I mean, I think ever since like finding out that I was expecting, I mean, Brandon will tell you, I like literally like went from just A to Z. Like every, he became about this child that I'm carrying. So I consider him and everything that I do, I really do. I mean, it's just, it really has this motherly instinct that's kicked in from A to Z, the way that I love this child, the way that I speak of him. And he's like the, he's our like most precious gifts to the point. Like Brandon is like, I think for a while, I just, you know, I kept saying, and not to be like offensive or anything like that. But, you know, this is my first new for me. And I just kept saying, you know, like, oh, my baby, like, you know, my baby's going to be here. And Brandon's like, oh, you know, it's, you know, it is our baby. And I'm like, you know, it's such a precious moment. It's such a precious transit. But as far as spiritually as well, I find myself in Brandon as well. Like the way we pray for this child before he's here, in the way we cover him, because we know that, you know, this child that we're carrying, carrying, we know that he's not just ordinary. We know that he's, you know, he's going to be a gift. And we believe that when we feel that the way that we cover him, even in the womb, that has been, that's been so vital. But it's also been such an experience. The way that it's just transition that's now, the way that we see each other now before he's even here, you know, just seeing Brandon kind of kick into like father mode and the way that I have to, you know, I'm preparing as well. I get into like that protective motherly mode as well. So it's just, I mean, honestly, it hasn't been coming natural. I'm like, who am I? Do you have any of that? I agree hard with it. I think just, you know, creating a sacred space, a safe space, you know, just to be able to pray. I do a lot of praying in personal prayer time for our newborn to come. And not only this child, but for all of our children to come, I'm praying that God, you know, will just use us to be great parents, you know, creating a safe space in our home with worship music every once in a while and all of the above. Absolutely. I love it. Yes, it's, you know, again, I think what I'm hearing is that intentionality. That intentionality behind it. And, and, you know, the two of you being able to lean on each other, as you prepare for this new season that is coming, you can just hear the excitement from both of you all. I'm just so, so happy. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait. Can't wait, can't wait. So we are doing a new segment with the show. It's called Quick Dicks Hot Topics in Christian Culture. These are rapid fire questions. They're five fun, engaging questions. And I don't want you to think too, too much on the questions. I want you to just give me like your first response, first thing that comes to your mind with these questions. Are you already? We're ready. All right. Awesome. So first question is, what's one green flag in a Christian relationship? Safety. Education, prayer life. And then if you could see in his actions that he has a relationship with the Lord, not just through his mouth, you. I'd say the same intentionality, safety, and prayer. Love it. Prayer, prayer, prayer, definitely. I think was one green flag in a Christian relationship for me. I would think, you know, not just being like, I'm spiritual, but like, you don't go to church anywhere, you know? I need you to be safe, sanctify, Holy Ghost, feel far back. Go on a church. I need you to be in church somewhere covered by somebody. Second question, best piece of marriage advice you've received. I think it was something that you also said tonight, but take all of the advice, but just a limit on a carry with you. Let everybody, you know, give their advice, but also, yeah, exactly. Like limit what you carry with you. I'd say, I'd say never stop learning. And when I say stop learning, I mean, never stop learning your partner. Because when you stop learning your partner, that becomes a problem. Yeah. Oh, that's good. People evolve. People change. So Amber is not the same person she was when I first started dating her. And she's a person is she's going to blossom into a different person, even as we prepare for parenthood. So never stop learning. Right. I would say, I mean, I, you know, y'all know, I'm in the thick of it right now. Right. Wedding planning and everything. I think right now, some of the best advice that I've been given is to never stop dating each other. I think sometimes from what folks have told me is easy to get very comfortable on-place and and so caught up in your life. That you aren't really like intentional about dating each other or spending time with each other. So I think so far. That's the best piece of advice that I've gotten. I love that. Love it. So in speaking of disagreements, who apologizes first in an argument? Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Listen, Amber, guys, they're working on me. I'm like, I'm sorry. I guess you know, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. So what was that? No, I thought I said, I love you, boy. I'm working on it. But you definitely bring back. Listen, I love that for us. I am really doing that. Look, God knew what we needed. And he's working on his branding. You're going to have to keep praying for your sister over here. Listen, my prayer will is turning. I'm praying for all marriages. So in speaking of dating, what's your favorite date night idea on a budget? For me, I would say so we have these like couple game night cards that we use. And I love that. I love that. We'll just sit in a bed. We'll kind of do the lights. Do these go through these little card games. And yeah, we'll just make a whole night of it. Yeah. A nice home cook meal over conversation. And I deal. I deal with it. Date nights. I love that date night on a budget, y'all. You got the relationship cards, which they have a ton of those on my think like Amazon and stuff. Thank you. Yeah. I've got them in the stores too, Target. You can find them in Target and Walmart. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's, I've seen them out there in the body. And I'm like, oh, these will be really cute. Yeah. I love that. Right. Last question. If you could pick one biblical couple to have dinner with, who would it be and why? I would say Mary and Joseph. Interesting. Because just from, you know, Mary being pregnant with Jesus, having to kind of navigate that. I know me in a relationship. If I was Joseph, I just don't, you know, of course, not knowing who it will, you know, who exactly, you know, the gift she was birthing. That point of, you know, you pregnant and we're not married and we haven't done anything. It would take a lot of convincing. A lot of convincing. A lot of convincing. But just knowing after that, who exactly, you know, just knowing who they gave birth to the gift, you know, the Holy Spirit. So I would be very intrigued to have dinner within it. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't know. I'm stuck with that. Jury, there's so many that come to mind. But I think one of them would definitely be Abraham and Sarah. Oh, interesting. Definitely Abraham and Sarah. And there's so many I could choose from. But just, I'll just leave it at that. This is a rapid fire. Yeah. We'll tell us, tell me a little bit about why you chose Abraham and Sarah. Well, you know, they, they go through so much in, um, in the story of Abraham and Sarah. And, um, I think I just have questions because you know, he's the father of creation. You know, so I think it would just, I wonder how they navigated in that season of, you know, of everything that they've gone through in the Bible. You know, I just, it's so much. I have, I have, I have them that I would sit down with. But there's so many other couples that I would sit down, honestly, within the Bible. No, this is rapid, but I just want to add to that. I think of that. But I think, you know, just from the standpoint of, you know, receiving a promise from God and you not seeing it right up front. You know, I think both the navigate that I would want to sit down with them based on that standpoint. Like, right. You know, the cost of not, you know, trusting him and waiting it out. The process of waiting, you know, I think of that. Yeah, I think that's a really good one. I actually was stumped by this question. I was like, I have no idea. Like, I feel like, I don't, I don't know. I mean, I want to go, you know, Adam and Eve. And I want to like really just have a really long conversation with both of them. Like, I'm not Adam and Eve. I think I would have some tough questions with them. Some real tough questions. Like, why did you do what you did? Right. Right. I would ask Adam, like Adam, this whole, this whole chapter versus, you know, the serpent talking to Eve. Like, you didn't want to jump in at any point. Right. You didn't knock on her. Like, option from entering into the world. Right. Right. Like, and Eve, come on. Like, can we not? Right. Did you have to bite into it? Did you just admire it? And then, you know, I just, you know, so many questions. But yeah, and I think, I mean, I don't. Joseph's life was Egyptian. So I would cheat and just say, Joseph, just because he is my favorite person in the Bible. And I wouldn't too much care about his wife. I just want to talk with him. Yeah. Just great conversation with Joseph and just learning from him and gleaning from him. And so yeah. So God, this has been so, so much fun. We are wrapping up. But before we do, before we end, what's one piece of encouragement you'd give to couples trying to honor God and their relationships? Yeah. I'll start. I'll say, ask him questions. You know, just do a checking with God. You know, I know one thing for me coming into marriage, one question that I have to ask often, often because it's not just me. Is, you know, am I representing you well, my marriage? Am I loving not properly? If not, how can I be better? How can I represent you and how I love and treat my partner? So just really including him and asking him questions, simply put. And I think that also one thing that is really working for us is just also connecting with other godly couples. Yeah. Hold us accountable. Absolutely. We have definitely found our like safe couple friends and we're still finding them in a joy because, you know, we kind of get to talk with each other there and again hold each other accountable. So I would definitely say those that are trying to honor God and their marriage and their marriage or their relationship. To keep him front and center asking questions and ball him, you know, even the silly questions. And also wise counsel, whether that looks like from your leader or, you know, just from someone that you trust in those godly relationships, those other godly couples that you invite into your relationship. So I think my, I think my wife answered it best, but to back that up with scripture, proverbs three and six is in all that ways, acknowledge him. You shall direct that past and all that way. So not just not just when things are good, when things are bad and in every way, acknowledge him. Right. Absolutely. 100% agree. You know, just for those that are listening, we went out the boys and I, all the boys, I should say. And Marlon and my fiance and myself, when we had a thing, two other married couples, we all had gone out to dinner on Sunday after church and just sat and fellowships and had conversations. And Marlon and I actually were talking to some older married couples as well that day. And we sat in the car afterwards and we were just talking about how wonderful it is to have young Christian couples to connect with and to build a community with. And, you know, I said to Marlon today, I was like, I'm like, I'm so excited. I can totally see us like hosting a getting night and he's like, oh, God. And so, but I feel like that's one of the things that, you know, as someone who is getting ready to become married is that I'm looking forward to where I have married friends now. That is different. I have my single friends. I've got my girls that, you know, have no me since before I knew Jesus. And that's very different. Like that, Julia, probably would approach marriage very differently than this, Julia would. And, you know, like you all said, being able to have those couples and those connections and people that you can rely on and trust. And that can also help hold you accountable. I think that's really, really important when it comes to trying to honor God in your relationship, being able to find people that can help you and steer you in the right direction and bring some wisdom to, you know, situations or conversations. So, I think you all so much for sharing what you all have shared tonight. So many wonderful nuggets. So much wisdom. So incredibly happy to be connected with you all, especially in this season. Where can people stay connected with you? How can we stay and keep up with the boys? Yes. So, for me, I am on Facebook and Instagram on Facebook. I am Amber K. Boyd middle name K.A.Y. And then on Instagram, my Instagram name is K moments with two underscores. And for me, I'm on Facebook under Brandon J. Boyd. And my Instagram handle is, I believe the same thing at Brandon underscore J underscore Boyd. Awesome. I'll put that in the notes for those of you that are listening so you can stay connected with our guests on tonight and certainly send them prayers and well wishes. By the time you all listen to this, Amber and Brandon, you all will be parents. So yes. So I'm really excited for y'all. I did. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to my listeners. Thank you all for tuning in to dig deep conversations with Christian leaders. You know that this podcast is all about wanting to make sure that we help prepare Christian leaders for just all types of different instances, different scenarios. We inspire change and empower purpose driven leadership here on the podcast. So thank you so much for tuning in. If you aren't connected with me, connect with me. What are you waiting for? Like you listen to the podcast episode. I know that you loved it. We should stay connected, my friends. So connect with me at Jurea. See all Joe on all social media platforms. I would love to connect with you love to hear from you. If you enjoyed today's episode, please be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who needs encouragement. Before we head out, Brandon, I'm going to ask that you would please pray for our listeners, specifically focusing on those who desire to be in godly relationships and those who are in godly relationships. And Brandon, we are in your hands. Okay. Well, thank you so much again, Jury for having us on the show and we are just grateful to share with you and with the audience that's listening. Father, we come before you today. We just thank you for your mercy and your grace. We thank you for your love, for your kindness. We thank you God for this ability to be able to even come to you and talk to you. Oh, God, as we're praying today, we're asking that you would bless those that are listening, those that have the desire to want to be in a godly relationship. Father, we pray that something was said in this podcast episode that would inspire and encourage others. I pray, Lord, that when people hear Amber and I that they don't take it and just think that we're perfect, but that they take the nuggets and one with the things that they need to know as they are moving towards godly relationships. Father, we thank you for how you've just blessed us and for how you're going to continue to bless us as we move forward into parenthood. I pray God that as we are in this season of our lives, that you will continue to bless Jury and Marlon as they're moving into marriage. Father, we thank you for every blessing, for every door that you've opened, for every door that you've closed. We ask God that you will just let your hand continue to be over our lives. We give you all the glory, all the honor and all the praise. It's in Jesus' name that we pray. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you all so much. Until next time, I will see you on the journey to a deeper relationship with God. Thanks so much for tuning in and I'll see you on the next episode. Amen.